Community News - Tuesday Eclectic

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Another fantastic turnout this week with 51 players braving what has officially been recorded as the hottest 26th May Ross-on-Wye has ever seen!

Even more impressive… 49 stayed for food! While most of us were melting gracefully in the sunshine, John was hard at work in the kitchen keeping everybody fed and watered. Outstanding effort sir — hats off from all of us!

Safety First on the 1st Tee…

Wayne Husbands opted for the “sensible” play by taking an iron from the 1st tee… only to watch it hook violently into the trees on the left anyway.

Committee advice:

“Just get the big dog out and give it the beans.”

Distance Is Distance…

Poor old Pete Nielens had his clubs stolen and was forced to borrow his wife’s clubs for the Eclectic.

Remarkably, he still managed to outdrive playing partner Nigel Yates…

Nigel is understood to be taking this matter extremely badly.

Highland Games Comes to THSG

Rich Tullett produced one of the athletic highlights of the day with an impressive 20-yard club throw following a slightly disappointing shot.

Strong technique.
Good release point.
Solid distance.

The judges scored highly.

The Smallest Victory Parade in History

Badger and Jerry Webb held what can only be described as the smallest open-top bus parade ever witnessed after Tottenham Hotspur secured survival in the Premiership.

Congratulations lads.

Although Badger… maybe keep an eye on where you’re parking in future.

Rules Corner

A gentle reminder from the committee:

R&A Rule 18.2a(1) allows players 3 minutes to search for a lost golf ball…

…not the full 9-minute director’s cut we witnessed from Jordan Hughes.

Even Champions Need Help

Club Champion Tom “Whispering Grass” Shotton may soon be booking himself in for a bunker lesson with the THSG professionals after managing the rare feat of leaving his ball in the bunker after two determined swipes.

Welcome back to reality Tom.
The rest of us have been here for years.

New Putter, New Man

This week’s winner Paul Cresswell arrived without his putter, but thanks to the ever-reliable and dangerously tempting pro shop, he found himself a replacement wand before teeing off.

The result?
Absolute mastery on the greens and a winning performance.

Surely this magic wand now has permanent status in the bag.
Paul — use the winnings as a down payment before someone else buys it!

Donkey Watch

This week’s Donkey race had everybody watching nervously.

Tommy Goff, fearing the inevitable, reportedly fled the scene before results were announced. Serial Donkey contender Fletch was preparing himself for another difficult afternoon…

…but then along came Kevin Goff to proudly claim this week’s Donkey honours and the prestigious role of Fine Collector.

Special thanks to Justin Halfpenny for keeping the committee updated throughout the day on Kev’s “progress”.

This Week’s Results

• Winner: Paul Cresswell
• Nearest the Pin: Rob Gibbs
• Donkey Boy: Kev Goff

Another brilliant week at the club — same again next week, ladies and gents!